Husband Is Difficult To Pray? This is the Solution of the Qur’an and the Sunnah

Because prayer is the practice that was first taken away on the Day of Judgment. There is no doubt that living together with a husband who does not pray is a disaster in which mishaps are not permissible.

QUESTION: “Ustadz, I want to ask how to respond to a husband who is lazy to pray, while his wife is a Muslim woman who obeys and how her position as a wife for years is waiting but there is no change.”

There is no doubt that living together with a husband who does not pray is a disaster where mishaps are not permissible, especially since you have been patient for a long time. Prayer is indeed a serious matter except for those who are solemn. Prayer is a direct relationship between a servant and his Rabb. Shalat is the first charity to be taken away.

Prayer is a scale by which we can know one’s religion and kindness. Whoever keeps it, then he has the light, proof and salvation on the Day of Judgment. And whoever does not take care of him he has no light, proof and salvation on the Day of Judgment, and will be gathered together with Pharaoh, Haman, Qorun and Ubay ibn Khalaf.

Prayer is an obligation that will not fall from a human while he breathes and has memories, the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam said to‘ Imran ibn Husain radhiallahu ‘anhu:

“Pray in a standing condition, if you are not able, then by sitting, if you cannot, then (lying) on the stomach.” (Al-Bukhari, 1006)

Some things that can help improve a husband who is lazy to pray. Among these are the following:

1. Relying on Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala
Submitting to Him for guidance to the man, and the truth is we pray for someone at night, and preach it at noon, according to our level of sincerity and honesty, then kindness and obedience will come.

2. Taking a good entrance advises him
Present beautiful words, choose the right times, and list the goodness and good qualities. And try to help him prepare his confidence by saying, for example:

“Alhamdulillah, you are a good person, you are responsible, and humans call you kindness, and it will be great if you consistently pray five times a day. For truly I am glad to see my husband come out like another man with his family to the houses of God. “

3. Ask for Helpful Relatives
Encourage the righteous people from your mahram to visit him and invite him to pray without him feeling that this is an agreement between you. And prefer prayer times in pilgrimage until he can go to the mosque with them.

4. Give tapes, books, or videos about Islam
Buy tapes, and small books that explain the laws of people who leave prayer, and the punishment of those who underestimate the implementation of prayer in time, and put the tapes and small books on the place he usually reaches with his hands.

5. Inviting prayers in a polite manner
Ambitious so that he is consistent in doing the five daily prayers for the first time, then preaches him to establish it with his specialties, rukuknya and tumakninah. And such things will not happen unless they regularly pray. Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala has praised those who are solemn in their prayers by saying:

“And those who care for their worship.” (Q. Al-Mukminun: 9)

Due to routine and keeping prayers will deliver to solemnity, and prayer will not be useful unless solemn.

6. Make meals after prayer times

7. Explain the danger of leaving prayer on time
Mush’ab ibn Sa’d ibn Abi Waqqash radhiallahu ‘anhu once said to his father while reading the words of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala:

“Then the accident is for those who pray, (ie) those who are negligent from their prayers,” (Surat al-Maun: 5)

He says,

“O my father, are they people who do not pray?” Sa’d said: “No, if they leave prayer, then they have been disbelievers, but they are the ones who end (delay) it from the time. “(Hr Al-Bazzar 1145, and Thabarani in Al-Aushath 2276)

8. Give a warning
Use influential tools and weapons possessed by a woman to force her to regularly perform prayers, such as refusing to eat with her, sitting with her, and refusing to sleep in bed, and there is no prohibition to convey divorce if she does not keep praying

This prayer case is not a small matter but it is very important, concerned if you see your husband easily neglecting prayer.

This is the case of heaven and hell, and this is the case of God not willing to help us and our children, always neglecting prayer. Naudzubillahi mindzalik, may Allah facilitate the journey of our lives to His Hannah.

Position of Intimate Relationship between Husband and Wife According to Islam

POSITION OF HUSBAND INTIM RELATIONSHIPS – In Islam, husbands and wives may carry out various styles / positions when having sex as long as they go to the right “place”. Allah SWT said in Surah Al Baqarah verse 223 which reads:

“Your wives are (like) the land where you cultivate, so go to the land where you grow your crops as you wish” (Surat al-Baqarah: 223)

Once upon a time Umar bin Khattab was worried and complained to the Prophet. Umar bin Khattab complained that he had just come to see his wife from behind. At that time the Messenger of Allah was only silent until Allah SWT revealed the verse 223 of Al-Baqarah.

Imam Nawawi explained that in the verse it is permissible to fuck his wife from the front and back, with his face down or overtaking. It is not permissible to fuck your wife through the rectum because it is not a location for farming.

Position of Intimate Relationship between Husband and Wife According to the Best Islam

Then what is the best position of husband and wife relationship according to Islam?

In Zaadul Ma’ad, Ibn Qayyim Al Jauziyah explained that the best position is that the husband is above the wife.

According to Ibnul Qayyim Al Jauziyah, the position shows the husband’s leadership towards his wife. As the word of God in verse 34 verse An-Nisa that reads

“Men are leaders for women” (QS. An Nisa ‘: 34)

and also in Surat Al-Baqarah verse 187

“They are clothes for you, and you are clothes for them” (QS. Al Baqarah: 187)

How Many Times Does the Intimate Relationship According to Islam?

In Islam, there is no limit to the number of times a week a husband and wife have to have intercourse. So, in this case a person can do it any time according to his circumstances and ability.

As said by Ibn Qudamah in Al Mughni (7: 30),

“Sexual relations must be carried out by the husband, that is, he has the obligation to fuck his wife as long as there is no udzur. As stated by Imam Malik. “

There is also a hadith from ‘Abdullah bin‘ Amr bin Al ‘Ash, he said that Rasullah sallallaahu‘ alaihi wa sallam advised him,

“O Abdullah, can I get news from you that you are constantly fasting and also praying at night?” Abdullah bin Amr bin Al Ash replied, “Yes, O Messenger of Allah.” He said, “Don’t do it like that. You may fast, but there is time not to fast. You may pray at night, but there is a time to sleep. Remember, your body has the right, your eyes have rights, your wife also has the right that you must fulfill. Likewise your throat has rights. “(Narrated by Bukhari no. 1975).

Ibn Hajar also said,

“The scholars clash with each other, may the husband leave behind intercourse with his wife. Imam Malik was of the view, “If it doesn’t make an emergency, the husband can be forced to have sex or they both must be separated.” Imam Ahmad also argued that way. While the famous among the Syafi’iyah scholars, he is not obliged to have sex. Some are of the view that it is mandatory. Some Salaf scholars argue, every four nights, there must be sex. Other scholars view, every time sacred from menstruation, once sex. “(Idem)

If the husband travels or travels with the stated purpose or for other reasons that are permissible, then he should not leave his wife too long.

Adab in Doing Married Relationships in Islam

Husband and wife relations in Islam have aesthetic and ethical aspects that aim to provide physical satisfaction and soul pleasure. Here he is adab in making husband and wife relations in Islam.

1. Doing Foreplay
A husband should start a husband and wife relationship by joking, hugging and kissing his wife. There is a hadith which explains that there is a great reward for a husband who associates his wife well

“Whoever holds the wife’s hand while seducing him, then Allah SWT, will write for him 1 kindness and merge 1 ugliness and raise 1 degree, When embracing, then Allah Swt, will write for him 10 goodness melts 10 ugliness and raises 10 degrees, When kissing, then Allah Swt, will write for him 20 goodness, merge 20 ugliness and lift 20 degrees, When intercourse with it, then it is better than the world and its contents “

Foreplay or can be called heating aims to create a positive communication between husband and wife. With sufficient and correct heating, the husband and wife relationship will be more pleasant and satisfying.

2. Decorate yourself
Husbands should clean their mouths so as not to cause unpleasant odors. A fragrant mouth will make a wife like love. Likewise the wives are required to decorate beautifying themselves and using perfume when they will meet her husband.

The Prophet Muhammad said

“The best woman is a woman who smells good and tastes good.”

3. No Round Bare
In making a relationship husband and wife should not be naked. The Prophet Muhammad said

“If you engage in sexual intercourse with his wife, then do not be naked like his naked himar.”

4. Perform Sunnah Prayers 2 Rakaat Previously
It is recommended to perform 2 rak’ah sunnah prayers before having a husband and wife relationship to get the mercy of Allah SWT and avoid the temptations of Satan.

5. Do Prayer Before
In addition to performing 2 rak’ah sunnah prayers, couples are also expected to read prayers so that they are kept away from shetan. The reading is as follows
بِسْمِ اللَّهِ اللَّهُمَّ جَنِّبْنِى الشَّيْطَانَ وَجَنِّبِ الشَّيْطَانَ مَا رَزَقْتَنَا

BISMILLAH ALLAHUMMA JANNIBNIS SYAITHAN WA JANNIBIS SYAITHAN MA RAZAQTANA

Meaning:
By chanting the name of Allah, O God, keep the shirk from me, and keep it away from what you will bless us (children, offspring).

6. Don’t Connect When Your Wife Is Menstrual
In Islam, it is not permissible to make marital relations when the wife is menstruating even though some doctors say that having a relationship during menstruation.

It is prioritized to pay attention to aesthetic and ethical aspects when dealing with husband and wife by not forgetting the sensory aspects of the position in relationships and other techniques.

The right relationship between a husband and wife is a worship that will get a price from Allah SWT while an intimate relationship that is not true will get sin.

That was the position of the relationship between husband and wife according to true Islam and adab-adab in doing it. Hopefully useful for you.

Forgot to Read Prayers Before Relation, What Should I Do?

If You Forgot To Read Prayer Before Related
What if you forget to read the prayer before having sex? Do you have to read the prayer afterwards?

Answer:

Bismillah was shalatu was greeting ‘ala Rasulillah, wa ba’du,

Reading prayers before relating has many benefits. Among them,

First, As a veil of human genitals from the view of Jinn

In the hadith from Abu Said al-Khudri radhiyallahu ‘anhu, the Prophet sallallaahu‘ alaihi wa sallam said,

سِتْرُ ما بَيْنَ أَعْيُنِ الْجِنِّ وَبَيْنَ عَوْرَاتِ بَنِي آدَمَ ، إِذَا خَلَعَ الرَّجُلُ ثَوْبَهُ أَنْ يَقُولَ: بِسْمَِ

“The veil between the eyes of the genie and the nakedness of the people of adam (man) is when someone takes off his clothes, he reads: bismillah. (Narrated by Ibn Adi, at-Thabrani in Mu’jam al-Ausath – al-Mathalib al-Aliyah, al-Hafidz Ibn Hajar, no. 37).

Second, the child of the relationship is protected by God

In the hadith of Ibn Abbas radhiallahu ‘anhuma, that the Prophet sallallaahu‘ alaihi wa sallam said,

“If one of you (husband) wants to associate with his wife, and he reads the prayer:

بَّاسِمِ اللَّهِ ، اللَّهُمَّ جَنِّبْنَا الشَّيْطَانَ وَجَنِّبِ الشَّيْطَانَ مَا رَزَقْتَنَا

“By (mentioning) the name of Allah, O Allah, keep us away from (the disturbance) of Satan and take away Satan from the provision that You have given us.”

If God destined (birth) the child of the relationship, then Satan will not be able to harm the child forever. “(Narrated by Bukhari 141 and Muslim 1434)

What if you forget?

If you forget, of course the opportunity to get the benefits above will be lost. It’s just that, this prayer is not mandatory, and there is no danger if left behind. And there is no suggestion to read it in the middle of the heart or after watching.

In the Syabakah Islamiyah Fatwa stated,

وهذا الدعاء مستحب لا واجب ، فمن تركه ولو عمدا لم يكن عليه جناح

This prayer is recommended and not mandatory. Therefore, whoever leaves it, even if intentionally, is innocent. (Fatwa Syabakah Islamiyah, no. 146507)

Will the child be rebellious?

If God is destined to be a child, will his child be rebellious?

one reason to protect children from Satan’s temptation is to read prayers before engaging in sexual relations.

It’s just that it needs to be understood, that it is only one reason. That is, there are still other causes that shape the character of a child.

The cleric asserted that this hadith does not show that every child born from the results of bodily relationships which were previously preceded by prayer, he will become a capable human being, free from every sin and temptation of Satan.

Because every incident has a cause and there is a barrier. The efforts of parents, who pray when they want to have sex, are one reason that the child survives the temptations of Satan. However, in the course of his life, there are many barriers and other causes, which make this child unable to get rid of the temptations of Satan, so he does immorality. (Taisirul Alam Syarah Umdatul Ahkam, 1/588)

Therefore, it is not a guarantee that every child born of a bodily relationship that begins with prayer will surely be a pious child. Likewise, vice versa, is not a guarantee, every child born from an intercourse without beginning a prayer, or even born from an illegitimate relationship (zina), will surely become a child of Satan, or an army of demons.

Among the efforts that parents can make is to pay attention to education during the child’s developmental period. Allah says,

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا قُوا أَنفُسَكُمْ وَأَهْلِيكُمْ نَارًا وَقُودُهَا النَّاسُ وَالْحِجَارَةُ

“O ye who believe, take care of yourself and your family from the fire of hell whose fuel is man and stone.” (QS. At-Tahrim: 6)

Including praying that the family is always taken care of, and given guidance. Like the prayer that Allah mentioned in Surat al-Furqan when God told me about the character of Ibadurrahman,

وَالَّذِينَ يَقُولُونَ رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا

“And those who say:” Our Lord, give us our wives and our descendants as our hearts (ours), and make us priests for those who fear. “(Surat al-Furqan: 74) .

So, Allahu ‘alam.